Grace in Falling Apart

Confession:

The more I try to get it together…the more I am falling apart.

I am going to blame it on this 6 month old fetus (? is that what it is called ?) who has taken over my belly and seems to live off of devouring my brain.

Nevertheless…I am falling apart. Or at least…I can’t seem to get it together.  I guess the way I look at that depends on the day…

Laaaaaast Monday Gracelaced Monday did not get a link a from me (it’s okay if you didn’t notice :))

I tried to tell you how my day was falling apart and it was only 10am but then my daughter began to fall apart too and I was losing patience quickly with my kids so I closed the computer, “threw in the towel” and just got through the day that never seemed to get better. Nothing really major happened but together…it all just seemed overwhelming.  I think that is the baby’s fault, again 🙂

So anyway…in an effort to offer anyone out there who is having “one of those days” some honesty, openness and grace to fall apart…here is what I had from last week that I couldn’t finish because, well…we all fell apart. The one thing I learned on this particular day…”let it go, Rechel…your kids need a little extra attention and God is trying to get yours.”

{P.S.  That’s as deep as it’s getting today:)} and….I’m not even gonna proof-read it 🙂

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

Last Monday:

Today is just going to be one of those days.

I was supposed to watch my friend’s children today.  Apparently she said 9.  I thought 11:30.

Since becoming pregnant with #3 I have been determined to “get it together” before he arrives 🙂 You DON’T need to tell me how foolish that is….(I prove that to myself and mannnny others everyday) if you know me at all you know I am going to pursue this relentlessly until I fail enough to willingliy give up on my own 🙂  Oh how I am getttttting there….

This morning, however, I determined that I can not only make breakfast for my children but I could also shower…before 11am  3pm.

So…I was in the shower when my friend arrived and missed her.  She had to take her kids (FOUR!!) to her appointment.  UGH-you can imagine how horrible I feel!

I feel like a failure…mainly because I let someone else down.

We made the oatmeal I blogged about yesterday.  That was bubbling in the oven as I showered…ummmm maybe you’d like it…I am going to be careful and just say we didn’t care for it. What a waste…but we ate what we could and will have an early lunch.

So-in an effort to regain control of my day….I was going to going to conquer the homeschool day.  However, we can’t seem to  find a sharpened pencil and our pencil sharpener broke.  We tried to use markers and it seems every single freakin’ color is dried up…

So now we’re off to the store.  In case you didn’t know….this is any mom’s FAVORITE thing to do…with her kids!

So I went to get dressed….when the hubby has been out of town for a week and I totally…100% fell off of my “cleaning schedule” and “load of laundry a day” challenge….and couldn’t find anything to wear…so let me check the dryer…UGH!

So….It’s a far cry from a maternity outfit…but it’s all I got and as it’s cold outside so I’m pullin’ the Uggs up and wearin’ it like this…and I am 100% certain I will run into someone I know….

*Note:  My “smile” is seeeeeeething with sarcasm 🙂

And I just turned around and bit my kids head off because he is doing everything he can to drive my daughter crazy and so she is throwing a fit on the floor. I really sorta want to lay down and throw a fit with her. What I am certain of….

I gotta go…find the grace in falling apart.

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3 Comments on “Grace in Falling Apart”

  1. Heidi Hollenbach says:

    Thank you, thank you, thank you and thank you for admitting that you are not perfect!!!! Most of my days DO NOT go as smoothly as I’d like, either, despite my best attempts. God is definitely teaching me to let things go and I AM SO BAD AT LETTING THINGS GO…but I am learning!! I think it is SO IMPORTANT to show other moms these “failing” days, so that we all feel a bit more normal! (Oh, and glad you told me you all didn’t love the oatmeal. I had everything ready to make it Sat night when I saw that I’d misread the recipe–I thought I could make it the night before and let it sit over night, so I figured I’d make it on a morning when I knew I’d have the extra time, and that morning has not come yet!!) LOVE YOU and am so glad to have a fabulous, authentic friend like you :). Heidi

  2. I love that you never posted this last week. Nothing is worth “getting a blog post up” …about grace…if the Lord is asking you to just be quiet and still…and receive grace. Where sin increases, grace abounds all the more, my friend. You do not need to “get it together,” or simply try harder. Return to what you know of the Gospel, the worthiness of Christ, and surrender there…let him put you back together again. Hugs!

  3. Thank you so much for the laughs. Wow! Your Monday last week sounded so familiar to my Monday today. All because I decided to be lazy for half of yesterday (that was nice though). I love the outfit and the laundry pile! You’re a doll 🙂


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