Our baby BOY!!Posted: December 13, 2011
For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
I went in for my 18 week ultrasound this morning vacillating between finding out the gender or not. I have never *not* known and wanted to do it differently this time. This is going to be our third child so being “ol timers” at this…I was perfectly fine going by myself. Mike’s parting words were “I’d love it if you’d change your mind and find out the sex.” I flippantly said “just answer your phone in case they tell me something is wrong.” Never…ever…reallllllly thinking anything would be.
I had to close my eyes as she placed the dealy-o on my belly (can you tell I was so going to be a doctor but decided to have kids :)) in case baby was trying to reveal itself. As I opened my eyes I fell in love. For the first time in sonogram history…I. fell. in. love via radiation (or whatever it is that allows you to see baby :)). There was something sooooo precious about this baby. Probably because I was envisioning it to be a girl 🙂 just kidding 🙂
Anyway-I had to close my eyes a gazillion times (my 1st indication it was a boy) while she checked everything. Every time she pointed out a leg or an arm or the heart she used words like “beautiful”, “wonderful”, “great”, and “precious”. We were laughing away as she was trying to talk me into knowing the gender and I was trying with everything in me to resist. Then all of a sudden the laughter stopped and she said “I need to show you two things.”
she is serious now.
should I be worried.
nothing could seriously be wrong.
She said the baby had cysts on its brain (called CPC)
In the same sentence she said they will not effect the baby.
Huh? So is this something wrong? I don’t get it. How many cysts are there?
4. Two on both sides of the brain.
They will go away completely by 28 weeks.
Okay then I don’t get it. What does this mean.
It is a soft marker for a chromosomal abnormality.
It is significant when there is more than one “marker”.
So then she pointed out the second “marker”. Our baby has one artery in his umbilical cord (instead of 2). This is called SUA.
Individually-these “markers” would be rather insignificant-I think-there is my doctor-ness again :). But together…they cause concern for the genetic disorder Trisomy 18 which is “not compatible with life”.
They could also mean nothing.
I was shocked. I thought the ultrasound was over. I thought we were good.
She told me to close my eyes once more while she looked closer. I didn’t want to “play” that game anymore. If I saw the sex…I saw the sex. I could care less about that anymore.
Well…it wasn’t a moment and little baby boy revealed himself to me 🙂
She scheduled me for genetic counseling, blood work and some super ultrasound with a specialist in a week.
It’s hard to know just what to do when you get information like this that requires you to wait but gives you just enough for your mind to run wild.
The very first thing that came to mind was “do not be anxious about your life…And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?…Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” Matthew 6:25-34
The only thing we know for sure is WE’RE HAVING A BOY and I am choosing to celebrate in that. The only other thing I KNOW and TRUST in is when we are given more information…no matter what it is…His promises are true. “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 2 Corinthians 12:9
I know that the Lord gives and takes away. I know that He works all things for my good and for His glory. I know He loves me. I know I can trust Him.
I’d be lying if I said we haven’t thought of the worst and cried. We’ve quickly stopped ourselves or each other from going there when our mind tries to slip back. We are confident we will be given everything we need when we need it. God already knows and I take great comfort in that. In Jeremiah God says “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I dedicated you, a prophet to the nations I appointed you.”
Until then..we simply know nothing more. Google doesn’t help neither do stories of “this happened to so-and-so and such and such happened” 🙂 but I am blessed with a friend who specializes in this and has been of great help. Information is power. I am also blessed that it is happening this time of year when people (uh-hem my mother-in-law) sent me 2 lbs of chocolate today (talk about perfect timing!) and the house is filled with the Spirit of Christmas and it is easy to see the presence of God all around.
I blog this simply because I am a lucky, lucky, lucky girl with a lot of friends and family who love us and love God. Although I want to talk to everyone that I love…this is an exhausting conversation. However, I love you and I want you to know and share in this with us. Mainly to know you are praying for us.
We will know more on the 21st and will, of course, share.
It is the LORD who goes before you. He will be with you-Deuteronomy 31:8
The FIVE Buckaroos 🙂